so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
