So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Green mimosas i think yes
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
