I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
