we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
