we're blogging at a bar
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
