he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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