guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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