Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
3 2 1 whiskey
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
