WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
