East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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