This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize