i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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