So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
