just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
