I wish you could order shots online.
it's like iHOP with fire
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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