I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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