just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
