Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
