Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
