fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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