You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
