Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
