I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
