doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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