Are we in a gay sports bar?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
