I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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