I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
