Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
why is half of my head shaved?
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