I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
