My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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