I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
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I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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