Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize