His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
