Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
