Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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