I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
