i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
