Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
