I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
porn star boner night. come get it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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