the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
