Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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