I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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