My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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