Just mADE A PArabola og urine
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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