O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
