I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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