Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
