just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
