dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
