friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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