he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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