Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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