You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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