they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
