I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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