I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
