I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize