My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
